Bad Dobby
by Werd
Summary: The fic ain't right.


This story originated when I read the description of the story "Bad Dark Wizards" by Stormcloud Empath, which said "Dobby decides to punish Kreacher". For some reason I got the wrong idea based on the description, that story turned out to be something different, and then I was inspired to write this.  
  
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Bad Dobby   
  
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Dobby picked up the telephone and called Harry. "Harry Potter?! What are you doing?!" said Dobby. "Dobby? I'm trying to sleep. It's four o'clock in the morning." said Harry. "Does Harry Potter want to go bowling?!" asked Dobby. "Dobby, please! I'm trying to sleep!" said Harry. "Ohh, bad Dobby!! Dobby has disturbed Harry Potter's sleep! Dobby must punish self!" said Dobby, slamming the phone against his head. "Dobby! Dobby, stop! It's ok! Just let it go, ok?" said Harry. "Oh, are you sure, Harry Potter?!" asked Dobby. "Yes. I just have to go back to sleep, now, ok, Dobby?" said Harry. "Yes, Harry Potter, please, do not let Dobby disturb Harry Potter's sleep!" said Dobby. He hung up the phone.  
  
"Dobby is so bored, Dobby must find something to do." said Dobby, sitting down and swinging his feet around. Dobby decided to go visit Kreacher. "What do you want, you traitor?" asked Kreacher. Dobby snarled at Kreacher. "Kreacher is bad! Kreacher should be punished for causing pain to Harry Potter!" said Dobby. "Get outta here, Dobby." said Kreacher. Dobby will punish you!" said Dobby, and he stepped inside.   
  
Dobby grabbed the portrait of Mrs. Black and slammed it down over Kreacher's head. Dobby grabbed a pot of boiling water and threw it on Kreacher. He ripped up some kitchen tiles and shoved each one into Kreacher's mouth.   
  
Dobby grabbed a big metal spoon for draining pasta and started to hit Kreacher with it. "Bad Kreacher!! Bad!!" said Dobby. "Oooh, that feels good!" said Kreacher. "Dobby will take it on to himself to punish you for betraying Harry Potter!" said Dobby, still hitting Kreacher with the spoon. "Yes!" said Kreacher. "Dobby teach Kreacher to be evil elf!" said Dobby, angrily. "ooh, punish me!" said Kreacher. Dobby whacked Kreacher over the head with the spoon 3 times.  
  
"Dobby will punish Kreacher more!" said Dobby. Dobby tied Kreacher to the wall with some black strips of fabric and started whipping him with a dish scrubber. "Bad, bad Kreacher..." said Dobby. Dobby finally took him down, a devilish glint in Dobby's eye. The elves lunged at eachother, kissing madly. "Now, Dobby will teach you more lesson." said Dobby. "Ooh, yheah!" said Kreatcher.  
  
The whole house shook and shimmied all night long.  
  
The next morning, both elves lay exausted on the floor. "Bad Dobby!" said Dobby. "Bad, bad Dobby!" he said, grabbing a potted plant and breaking it over his head. Dobby fell asleep.   
  
That night, Dobby ran out of the house and ran to Harry Potter. "Harry Potter does not know, but Dobby has been very bad." Dobby said in a high pitched voice, behind Harry at the dinner table. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RAT DOING IN OUR HOUSE?!" said Vernon. "Dear!" said Petunia. "Oh, I mean, delighted to have you, giant rat friend of Harry's! We love all Harry's friends!" said Vernon, nervously looking up and around himself.   
  
"Dobby, what are you doing here?!" said Harry. "Dobby is a traitor to Harry Potter, Harry Potter!!" sobbed Dobby, crying into his hands.  
  
"Dobby, what are you on about?" said Harry. "Dobby...did the wild thing with evil elf Kreacher last night!" said Dobby. Harry stopped his forkful of mashed potatoes that was halfway towards his mouth. He looked at Dobby, just staring at him for a moment. "You...did WHAT?" said Harry.   
  
"Dobby was very bad!" said Dobby.  
  
Harry clutched his face with his hand, looking dizzy. "Is Harry Potter homicidally angry with Dobby, Dobby wonders?! Should Dobby prepare for his deserved death!?" said Dobby.   
  
"Dobby, WHY??" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"Dobby does not know, Harry Potter." said Dobby.  
  
Harry groaned. "Well, why did you have to tell me about it?!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Come Duddykins, all this is not for innocent ears!" said Petunia. "STAY WHERE YOU ARE! If I have to hear it, you have to hear it." said Harry.  
  
"Dobby is just brimming with self hatred, Harry Potter." said Dobby. "Dobby, just, just stop talking about it, and never mention it again!" said Harry. "Yes, Harry Potter! May Dobby stay with the wonderful Harry Potter tonight?! Dobby is lonely and bored and Dobby will wait on Harry Potter hand and foot as penance!" said Dobby. "If you must, Dobby!" said Harry.  
  
That night, Dobby was tucking Harry in. Harry sighed. "Can Dobby read to Harry Potter from a book, perhaps?" said Dobby, pulling out "Mary Had a Little Lamb". "Dobby, I'm almost sixteen." said Harry. "Hmm?...Is Harry Potter comfortable?!" asked Dobby. "Yheah, Dobby. Now, let's just go to sleep." said Harry. "Ok, Harry Potter!" said Dobby, climbing into the dog basket Harry had set up for him.  
  
A few minutes later, when Harry had just closed his eyes, the sound of violin music was heard outside the window. Harry and Dobby opened their eyes and sat up.  
  
Harry looked out the window. "What in the hell?" Harry said. "Can Dobby see what it is?!?" said Dobby, springing onto the bed and looking out the window. Kreacher was on the lawn, playing the violin and holding a bouquet of roses. "Dobby, my sweet." said Kreacher.  
  
"Dobby is astonished! Oh, no! Dobby cannot believe it! Dobby is sorry for this disturbance to Harry Potter's sleep!" said Dobby.  
  
Kreacher started to sing to Dobby. "Wheeen thee mooon hiitss your eeyyeee..." Kreacher sang badly.   
  
Harry looked at Dobby. "Oh, my!" said Dobby.  
  
Kreacher held up the roses.  
  
"Dobby is in love! Dobby does not want to be." said Dobby. "Just go, Dobby. Go on and be with Kreacher, if it will make you happy....and if it means I can get some sleep." said Harry. "Really, Harry Potter?!" asked Dobby. "Yeeess, Dobby..." said Harry. Dobby leapt up in glee and then jumped out the window. "Dobby?!" said Harry. Dobby plummeted to the ground, landing on his head. "Ouch." said Dobby, stars and birds twirling around his head. Dobby slowly got up. "That is Dobby's punishment for being bad! And now, Dobby has found happiness!" said Dobby, taking Kreacher's roses and his hand.  
  
Dobby and Kreacher were happy from then on, and Kreacher stopped being a miserable coniving elf.   
  
The end.  
  
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End file.
